This was just my guiding notes for the wedding order and my speech. I talked through my speech many times before the wedding as I don’t like to read from a piece of paper when I make a speech. BUT I made a list of points that I had on the table just in case I lost my flow, these are at the end of this post. As for order, do what works for the Bride and Groom, as it is their wedding. If the Bride is more forward than Groom, then let her say a few words as well during the speeches, don’t sit too much with tradition, there is no real hard and fast rules these days. The only thing is it is all about the Bride and Groom, don’t get to clever with speeches and forget this absolute core sentiment!
If your not a confident speaker then don’t feel you have to make a long speech, keep it as short as you are comfortable with. If you know someone that is good at public speaking then reach out to them for help, not in writing the speech, as they won’t know the Bride and Groom but with the nerves.
Click on the link for the traditional order and notes on Wedding Speeches. What follows here are the notes I made for this specific wedding for Dave and Nicky before the wedding day.
One piece of advice, if there are going to be multiple speeches then try to talk to the others giving them at the wedding to get an idea of what they are going to say. This way you will make sure that you don’t lose a huge chunk of yours when the Father of the Bride or Groom duplicates something from yours. After all, you are going on last.
D&N Wedding Order of Service
As there was no MC I acted as that to introduce people and make announcements as required. This order of service was specific to D & N’s wedding as there were unusual circumstances and requirements.
Legend: BM – Best Man, FOB – Father of the Bride, GR – Groom, BMs – Bridesmaids
- BM: Welcome everyone.
- BM: Introduce Brides Father (Or William in this case)
- FOB: Talks about Bride and welcomes Groom
- FOB: Toasts the couple
- BM: Thank FOB/Introduce the Groom (Dave)
- GR: As he sees fit
- GR: Thanks Bridesmaids, Ushers, gives gifts (Toast if he wants)
- GR: Thanks BM, gift
- BM: Thanks GR/Introduces Bridesmaids Speech (Sophie, Kirsty & Lorraine)
- BMs: Talk about bride/couple
- BMs Toast couple if they want to
- BM: Thanks BMs
- BM: Speech
- BM: Toast Couple
- BM: Invites couple for Cake Cutting
- BM: After about 15 minutes, introduce 1st Dance
- BM: Introduce Lorraine and Anna who will sing the 1st dance
- BM: Thank the girls, applause
- BM: Comment on the lovely couple’s dance, applause
- BM: Hand over to DJ to open the floor
- BM: RUN to bar for double Vodkas!
Basic Speech Notes for Order Of Service & Speech
Welcome everyone to this amazing occasion of Dave & Nicky’s wedding.
We all know that with these two nothing is ever rarely ‘normal’, I’m pleased to day that today is absolutely [pause] no different of course. 🙂
Unfortunately Nicky’s dad is not here with us today but having already stepped in to fill these very big shoes, giving Nicky away at the ceremony earlier, please give your attention to William.
Now if I can ask you to give your attention to the man of the day, the Groom, now of course better known as Nicky’s husband, [to dave], how good does that sound? [pause] Ladies and Gentleman, your groom Cookie.
When the wedding was first announced, I was invited to some very secret chat rooms on FaceBook, all very cloak and dagger. I thought, “Uh oh the Government are on to me, run!” But in actual fact it was all for an amazing reason. Sophie, Lorraine and Kirsty wanted to put a show together for our happy couple.
In my opinion they have been very brave as I always say when given a speech never involve animals or modern technology although they’ve left the animals out, the have gone with technology. It gives me immense pleasure to introduce, Sophie, Kirsty and Lorraine.
[Start Laptop PPT after their intro]
[Thank The Girls]
[My Speech, base notes, this is where mine actually starts]
Wow I don’t know if I can follow that, that was amazing girls!
If you’d have told me 6 years ago I’d be standing here today as Dave’s best man, well I would have asked you what you had been drinking!
But that is the thing about life, you meet these random strangers, people you have no idea about, who end up changing your life for ever. And in ways you could never dream possible.
Take Dave and Nicky sat here today, they met as strangers a few years ago, now they have changed each others world for all time. Now sitting here having just exchange vows of love to each other.
You just never know who will walk into your life and change it. Its a genuine honour to be stood here today as Dave’s best man.
The first time I met him, he was a lonely, solitary figure throwing darts on one of the far lanes in Rileys. Like many he was trying to gain a place further up the ladder in the magic world of darts he loves so much.
Kasia, the manager was busy and as his score needed to be officiated, she asked me if I would drag myself from my usual corner and vodka, to mark his scores, so I did.
We had a chat afterwards and well the rest, as they say is a pleasured history.
Soon after that encounter I was introduced to Nicky, this lively, friendly, occasionally dart throwing companion of his. Although as Paul Butler will tell you, don’t get her involved in a wooden spoon final, unless you have three days for three legs, plenty of food and a chair but that’s a whole other story.
One night I was sat chatting with them in Riley’s when Nicky started going on about these amazing pancakes that Dave makes, as he is a pretty good cook. Being the people that they are I was soon invited around to sample these legendary culinary delights.
One evening I set off to Mile End, where they were living back in the day, completely unaware that he was going to kill me [pause] with food.
Bear in mind he has invited me there for pancakes, oh no, when I walk in I am confronted with what can only be described as the feast for the 5000. I mean first there was a Pizza Hut style all you can eat buffet style starter, then he brings out a mixed grill that, I kid you not, had more meat on it than the Butchers counter at Morrisons and all this before I even got a wiff of a pancake.
The pancakes thought were divine yet the side effects, well not only did my trousers belt have to be turned down to the very last notch, I found I couldn’t actually get up. To this day I have never felt as bloated as I did that evening.
We laugh about that day, and tell that story but there is a point that I’d like to share from that experience.
Whilst funny it just goes to show the kind of people these two truly are, they are warm and caring to everyone around them, despite their own struggles in life nothing is ever to much for their family, friends [pause] or even people they have only just met and want to fatten up. I know this from my own personal experience with them as they have made me part of their family now.
It was during that feast of the 5000 that I found out that, like myself, they loved the old board games rather than these modern day fandangled Playbox 10000’s things.
As I slowly waited for the weight to lift in order to get out of the chair that night, we played a few games. These two being who they are, well it wasn’t long at all before I was invited around again for another games night, although I did remember to fast for a week before going round theirs! You know, just in case Dave decided to cook again.
That night I discovered that Dave has a secret superpower, he is a pop quiz superman. Seriously whilst I am still trying to work out the question, he has answered it, looking at me as if to say, “How did you now know that!” Those who play darts with him will know he’s pretty good at that but man he’s in a league of his own with these music quizzes and trivia, just don’t go there.
It was inevitable with these two that my visits would become regular because of their warm, caring nature. I mean I now have my own self in the fridge there for my Vodka bottle and ice, a shelf in their cupboard for my hot sauce and marmite, really it is just there for me. They invite me over as part of the family Christmas each year now, I even get presents, it really does show what amazing people they are.
I know that usually the best man is supposed to stand her and tell embarrassing stories about Dave, although to be fair Nicky has added more than her fair share of stories over the years. When you get chance just ask her about the NFL yellow line blue line or when Brazil joined Europe.
But these two are different. What I mean by that is that you don’t become friends with one or the other, they are two people bonded together by the friendship and love that is so deeply rooted between them. You simply become friends with both.
All the stories I could stand here and regale are always shared with both of them, not just Dave. I stand here today, yes as the best man but to both of them because they are the very essence of a true couple, they stand together indistinguishable from each other.
I know today they were officially married but I think you’ll all agree that their hearts and souls were married from the day they met.
Its with absolute pleasure that I ask you all to raise your glasses to the new Mr and Mrs Cook, to Dave and Nicky.
[Cake Cutting] – Ask D & N to come over to the cake table, make sure to invite the photographer there before they actually cut the cake. Invite guests to come up to take photos to but make cure they don’t obstruct the official photographer.
Note: Although it does not truly matter, if it is a multi tier cake, they cut the bottom tier. In fairness I always work it so that their hands and the knife are in easy view for the pictures.
[After @20 Mins announce 1st Dance] – Give everyone enough time to get a slice of cake and have a nibble if you can.
My Table Notes
Try to practice your speech enough that you can get it down to distinct single points, then write these down. Keep these on the table where you can just glance down if you start to lose your way in the speech. The speech I wrote above I got down to these points. Little tip, make sure it is just a single sheet of paper to as it means no shuffling of papers.
- 6 Years – Best Man – Yeah Right
- People changing lives
- D&N Changing each others
- You never know who
- 1st Met D at Rileys -Darts
- Meeting Nicky
- Paul B – Nicky Darts
- Pancakes Invite
- Feast of 5000
- Shows their caring nature
- Part of family
- Board Games
- Games Nights
- Diet for week before games nights
- D’s Quiz Super Power
- Reg visits – family
- Vodka shelf, hot sauce MArmite
- Family Christmas
- Best man to both
- Nicky Yellow blue line/Brazil
- Their a true couple
- Deep rooted love & friendship
- Stories always involve both
- Married hearts & souls when met
Best Man Niceties
As the Best Man you job is to make sure that everything flows at the dinner and reception, there are loads of books on the subject, so I am not going to drone on here, but here are a few of my own thoughts.
On the wedding day itself your job is to make sure that the Groom does not get drunk. Many will be incredibly nervous, there is nothing wrong with one or two to just take his edge off. Under NO circumstances allow him to turn up tipsy or drunk. There is a valid reason for this, if the registrar, vicar or official conducting the service thinks he is not fully with his faculties, they CAN AND WILL refuse to marry him! Bear this in mind when your about to buy a third drink. Also you yourself must refrain from more than a tipple to soften the nerves to, you have been given the biggest responsibility of all.
As soon as you can talk to the DJ, or venue and make sure you have a microphone to hand, its better than shouting!
Make sure you know the order of seating at the top table, people will look to you for re-assurance as to who sits where. As a guide the picture here is the normal layout however we had completely extenuating circumstances as neither of Dave’s Parents or Nicky’s father were with us. Personally I always sit as Best Man on the Grooms side of the table. As the Best Man you should already know of any special family arrangements with the parents whether that is the sadness of them being passed, or perhaps their is tension with divorces, step parents, separations etc. Spend time with the Bride and Groom finding this out BEFORE the wedding. Do not cause World War III by seating the wrong people next to each other!! (These are just thoughts, for Dave and Nicky’s wedding it was much easier for me.)
Many weddings these days have buffet style food. Make sure people know when the food is available, as well as where to get it.
Also that they are aware any special requirements of the venue. This may include quick fire exit instructions, where guests can or can’t smoke etc.
As people turn up to the venue, wander round the tables and socialise, if they are people you don’t know introduce yourself, they will then soon do the same. If you know the times of things, share this with people whilst you go round, as it eases their minds.
Make sure people know a few minutes before the speeches are going to be made, especially if there are people outside smoking. Go out, let them know to.
As the afternoon progresses, try to make useful announcements about things that will happen, or use the DJ to do so!
If the bouquet not thrown at registry, get the DJ to call bride and clear dance floor some time after the dance floor is open. Adds an nice but unexpected touch for the Bride & ladies in the venue to all get to dance floor.
Normally the Best Man and Chief Bridesmaid, should, after about ninety seconds of the Bride and Grooms first dance, go out onto the dance floor. This signals everyone else that they can now join in the fun. Although check with the Bride and Groom first. D & N asked me to make sure they could dance all of the first song as it had special meaning to them.
Now here is one of the most overlooked Best Man, (And Chief Bridesmaids), duties. You need to try to keep the dance floor busy! Yes you may not be able to dance but you must try to make sure that if it gets quiet you get out there, encourage others to do so to, get the floor going again. Don’t just wander off to the bar, you are the Best Man for a reason! No mater what hang ups you may have you need to overcome them as you are there to make sure that the Bride and Groom have a good time. A quiet dance floor is never good. If you need to, gee the DJ up if he is playing songs that don’t suit the wedding guests!! IT IS YOUR JOB!! Get the Chief Bridesmaid (Or Matron of Honour), to help you!
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